What's with Andy?
I'm the master trickster.
The master trickster.
What's with Andy?
I'm the prince of pranks.
The prince of pranks.
Well, everyone in town, from my folks to my buddies,
know of my unquenchable thirst for pranks.
Besides Charminory, I've got one dream of glory
to get listed in the record books.
What's with Andy?
I'm the master trickster.
The master trickster.
What's with, what's with, what's with, what's with...
I'm the prince of pranks.
I'm in a bit of a hurry right now.
Jen's on my trail like a bloodhound.
Woof, woof.
You'll see what I mean.
Yeah!
Okay, we just have to blast the cream
from the tanker truck through the compressor,
then fill the gym with whipped cream.
This is going to be incredible.
A whole gym full of students.
Talk about whipped cream surprise.
Ready?
Here goes.
Huh?
What's going on?
Loser.
Huh?
I knew you were up to something.
I just told the driver of the cream truck to leave.
I won't have you ruining our good family name.
This would have put me on national TV.
Revenge will be mine.
You'll see.
Oh, great.
And now she's getting me into trouble with DeRosa.
Two detentions scrubbing lasagna pans for the cafeteria lady
because of Jen.
Payback time starts right now.
Student volunteer list for the retirement home.
I thought you were blacklisted from the retirement home.
Hey, can I help it if they thought I mixed up all the dentures on purpose?
I'm signing Jen up.
She volunteered last year and swore she'd never do it again.
Miss Larkin, have you changed all the bedpans on the fourth floor?
Looks like you'll have to change the bedpans on this floor again.
She still has nightmares about bedpans.
I'm sure she'd love to go back there again.
Oh, Jen, Mrs. Weebles called to remind you
that you volunteered to work tomorrow at the retirement home.
Huh? Why would I volunteer there again?
You must have if Mrs. Weebles called.
I guess I forgot.
Hey, maybe this time you'll be in charge of the sponge baths.
Well, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
That's a mature attitude.
She's taking it well. Now.
But I bet tomorrow she'll be screaming.
Poor Jen. She's so sick.
She has quets, clammy hands, shallow breathing, and her head hurts.
It's just what I had hoped.
Jen's fear of retirement homes is kicking in, and she isn't even there yet.
I'll call Mrs. Weebles.
Jen'll be staying in bed for the day.
What? She's probably faking it
because she doesn't want to do that volunteer work.
Oh, Andy, she wouldn't do that.
She takes volunteering seriously.
Well, so much for my prank.
Is Mom gone?
Good.
Huh? I thought you were at death's door.
It was just an act.
If I told Mom I wasn't going to the retirement home, she would have made me.
So you faked being sick?
Sue me.
Spank! Here, Spank! Time for walkies!
I have a cheerleading competition tomorrow,
so I'm taking Spank to the dog park for a run.
And don't even think of telling on me.
You know Mom and Dad would never believe you.
Careful at the dog park, Miss Dog Breath.
I'd hate for the dog catcher to catch you.
Woof, woof.
If I'm a dog, I'd hate to know what you are, dweeb.
Hmm. If she's a dog, then I'm a dog trainer prankster.
Yes!
Goodbye, old prank.
Hello, new and improved prank.
I doctored up a little warning letter on my computer
with all of Jen's symptoms on it.
I'm faxing it to my parents so they'll think she's totally seriously sick.
If your child has cold sweats, clammy hands,
shallow breathing, and headaches,
then get a urine sample to the local medical clinic
and immediately put your child
into quarantine.
Quarantine? That's brilliant.
She could be in quarantine for the rest of her life
if I play this out properly.
So, you're gonna help me get a urine sample, right?
From Jen? No way.
No, from Spank.
We put Jen's name on his sample.
When she gets the test results,
they'll tell her that she has very unhuman-like urine.
Like a dog's.
Is there no end to your brilliance?
Jen will be Dog Girl,
and I will get my sweet revenge.
Here, doggie Jen.
Sit.
Sit, pretty.
Roll over.
Amazing.
She's no smarter as a dog than she was as a human.
Rah, rah, rah!
E-Skackle School is the best!
Mom! What are you doing here?
You're probably wondering why I'm feeling so much better.
It doesn't matter how you feel, honey.
Huh?
You had some severe symptoms,
and, well, you have to go into quarantine for a few days
until we get your urine tested.
Quarantine? Urine test? But I'm fine!
Jen, stay back.
You don't want to make anyone else sick.
So, how do you get urine out of a dog?
Easy.
You hold him, and I'll... do the rest.
Easy, eh?
Y-Usually goes about every three seconds.
He must have performance anxiety.
Come on, Spank.
Just pretend my homework is on the ground here.
Hmm.
Maybe if you hold him and squeeze.
No chance.
Ever since we painted spots on that Rottweiler,
I'd rather not get too close to a dog.
Let's give him more water.
Come on, Spank. You can do it.
Come on, Jen. You can do it.
But I'm already feeling better, Mom.
I'm sure it's nothing serious.
Doctor's orders, Jen. Just pee in the jar.
But I'm feeling much better.
Pee in the jar.
Hmm.
Uh, Spank?
Hey, Dweebos.
Eh?
What are you doing to Spank?
Oh, we're just, uh, uh, checking him for fleas.
Hurry up, Jen.
I'm not Spank. I can't just go on command.
I wish Spank could just go on command.
Uh-oh. There's Spank's arch-nemesis.
He's going. Hold him steady.
Well, yeah.
Uh-oh.
It wasn't easy, but this prank is gonna pay off big time.
Are you sitting down, Jen?
Just tell me, Mom. What did the doctor say?
He said that the lab technicians might have gotten your urine sample mixed up
because the results are very strange.
Well, what did he say I have?
He said that if you were a dog, it would be manageable.
But that your urine shows you have putrid dog mouth disease
that, um, well, only dogs ever get.
Putrid dog mouth disease?
That's like music to my ears.
But I guess I'll have to take Spank to the vet
and get him some doggy mouthwash for his condition.
Hey, maybe I'll be taking Jen there, too.
You should stay in quarantine until the doctor gets back to us.
She could probably still hang out with some of her old boyfriends.
Since they're all dogs, her disease probably wouldn't really hurt them.
Oh, sorry. Did I say something wrong?
Don't think this is the end of the prank.
Not by a long shot.
Tomorrow, Jen's gonna be thinking she's shedding like a Pomeranian.
I'm losing my hair. I'm shedding like a dog.
Since she's shedding like a dog,
she should have a fine sense of hearing like a dog.
With one dog whistle, one remote controller, and some loud sirens,
Jen's gonna have to face facts.
She's a dog.
Huh? What's that screeching noise?
It's a dog whistle.
It's at such a high pitch, only, uh, only dogs can hear it.
And, I guess, maybe dog-breath humans slowly transforming into dogs.
Dogs?
I just wanted to tell you guys that there's absolutely no truth to the rumor
that Jen Larkin has been diagnosed with a rare affliction.
It's an affliction called putrid dog-mouth disease
that usually only affects canines.
And she definitely was not diagnosed by Dr. Smythe
at the East Gackle Medical Center Tuesday afternoon at 5 o'clock.
It's all lies. Do you understand?
That should guarantee a front-page story.
So how's Craig doing?
He hasn't called me once since I've been quarantined.
Well, Craig seems a little bit off you right now.
He's been hanging out with Lisa.
Ugh! That jerk! How could he do that when I'm sick?
At least I have my friends.
Cheerleading squad must be missing me.
Well, with the competition going on, I've been made head cheerleader.
Since you're... dog-like.
I see.
Oh, Terry, I have to go right now. It's dinner time.
Ah, the sound of a prank in motion.
Now, to bend her brain just a little bit more,
I have your dinner, Jen.
Mom's meatloaf. My favorite.
Oh, Mom wants to know how you like the spaghetti.
It's not spaghetti. It's meatloaf.
What? Meatloaf?
Oh, sorry, Jen. I bet I gave you Spanx food by mistake.
Oops.
Candy!
What's happening to me? Now I like dog food?
I think I'm getting hairier. More dog-like.
It's like I can understand them. Their sadness.
I'm playing this dog sound CD just to get into Jen's head a little more.
Shut those mutts up!
They're not mutts. They're dogs. And they have feelings, too. They deserve respect.
Wow. Jen's growing as a person.
And growing even more. As a dog.
Don't worry, Jen. It's all gonna work out fine.
Fine? My life is ruined. Craig's seeing someone else. My best friend has my head cheerleader job.
I'm sure it'll make her very happy to see that she's on the front page of the school paper.
Dog girl at our school. Maybe this will cheer you up.
Ah! I'm going to be known as Dog Girl?
Bleh.
Now you've really upset her.
I was just trying to cheer her up.
Oh, Jen. Dr. Smythe says that he thinks there has to be some kind of mistake.
He wants a follow-up urine sample from you tomorrow morning.
Can I help it if I don't have to go?
Jen, just pee in the jar.
Get him!
Hold him. I have the jar ready.
That cat is back.
Don't let Spank see.
Oh, Spank.
I hope I don't have to do that again.
I filled two jars this time to save trouble.
Don't forget your lunch, dear.
Uh-oh. Gotta think quick.
Oh, Dad. I think there's a mix-up.
You took the Banana Peanut Butter Icing Sugar Pickle Line Deluxe Sandwich and left the Roast Beef Sandwich.
I don't mind if that's what you want.
That was easy.
After seeing Jen's reaction to her feature article, I think I'm going to take this project.
I think I'm going to take this prank big time.
A big press conference at the school with national newspaper and TV coverage.
Do you think the world is ready for this?
Oh, they better get ready.
You know, I think this will get me my own pranking TV show with my brains, my good looks.
And your modesty.
Yeah.
But there's no way that Principal DeRosa will let you have a press conference at the school.
DeRosa is going to have his own problems to worry about.
Remember, I have an extra jar of Spanx urine.
Yes, Mrs. Weebles?
Dr. Smythe here at the clinic.
I need Principal DeRosa to drop off a urine sample.
It's for his insurance coverage with the school board, and it has to be done today.
Ladies and gentlemen, our winners are...
Whoopsie the Poodle in third place,
Jen the Dog Girl in second,
and the big winner is...
a new species of...
Principal Dog!
Time for the old switcheroo.
Mission accomplished.
With DeRosa going into quarantine, nothing can stop me.
Wow, she really takes things seriously.
Principal DeRosa, back in your office.
You have to go into quarantine.
What? That's absurd. I...
Dr. Smythe says you have putrid dog mouth disease,
the same as the Larkin girl.
I read in the school paper that she's in quarantine,
so you have to be too.
Sorry.
But I can't stay in here all day.
Someone needs to keep an eye on that Andy Larkin.
You just have to stay in there.
It could be very contagious.
Now we just have to make our calls to the press
and get on a computer to do special effects work on some photos.
If we're going to pull off this press conference,
we're also going to need a leading world scientist
to appear with Dr. Larkonia.
Sounds like mush.
And we'll need two fake beards and a fake nose,
high quality with movie star makeup,
some lab coats, some glasses,
and a DVD of the movie,
Night of the Living Dogs.
I just have to do a professional makeup job on me and mush,
and we'll be ready.
How about you?
Here's Principal DeRosa,
and here's Jen before the disease took effect.
And this is them after the disease will have taken its course.
Human-dog hybrids.
Gee, Jen doesn't look that much different.
Oh, this is complete nonsense.
And it better be straightened out soon.
Oh, after 2 o'clock,
it looks like I have time for my favorite show.
And now, back to the edge of our lives.
Whoa!
So, what do you think?
You guys totally look like old scientists.
And mush, remember that all you have to say to the press is affirmative.
Got it?
Affirmative.
Good. Everything ready, Danny?
That is excellent.
The press is gonna be here in a minute.
I guess it would be too much to expect an award
for best acting in a press conference
to bark or not to bark.
That is the question.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you to a press conference
from East Gackle School,
where eminent international medical research chairman Dr. Larkonia
establishes a defense against the dreaded
putrid dog mouth disease afflicting the school.
Putrid dog mouth disease is a very serious affliction.
So far, we have only two casualties,
but there is much concern about these dog-breathed humans
transforming into dogs.
Dog-breathed humans transforming?
That's exactly what Andy said.
It is!
Andy Larkin, you are dead!
So, it is a very serious disease.
Let us look at the cases.
Danny, young man, show us the image.
Now, this girl, not very attractive to start with,
becomes even more hideous once she is infected
with putrid dog mouth disease.
And now this is the principal of the school.
If you thought him unappealing before,
look at him now in quarantine,
chewing his own slippers.
Hello?
Yes, Dr. Smythe.
Uh-huh.
And you say it's identical to the Larkin girl sample?
Uh-huh.
From the same dog?
Yes, Dr. Smythe, it does sound very odd indeed.
And I think I know who the perpetrator is.
Thank you.
Andy Larkin.
Will you help uncle Joey?
Oh!
This kid!
Then he could have told.
Are you their friend, Jenny?
I do not know you!
No, not your friend!
Really?
No, I don't know you!
He knows you so well.
Mom, go will you?
Being born so hideous was a problem for the girl and for the principal.
But becoming a dog girl and dog principal is possibly even worse.
Now, are there any questions for our expert panel?
Dr. Mushwinski, do you corroborate the authenticity of the data?
Affirmative.
In your opinion, which case is worse, the old man or the girl?
Affirmative.
You mean they're both bad?
Affirmative.
I'd like to add that if putrid dog mouth disease is not stopped, we can expect a world
like this.
Young man, the DVD dramatization, please.
It's horrible.
This is a fraud.
You're dead, Andy.
Here, ladies and gentlemen.
Are the almost insane and deeply savage victims of the disease.
See how the dog girl growls viciously?
He's my brother and he's a fake!
I may not be a real doctor, but I am no fake.
There is a real disease here and it is called prank-o-mania.
Ladies and gentlemen, people around the world, you've just been pranked by the world's greatest
prankster, moi, Andy Larkin.
And I really could do wonders with my own national TV show.
But right now, I have another engagement.
Dog girl, could we ask you a few questions?
Will I get a hold of you, Larkin?
Mrs. Weevils, Principal DeRosa has escaped.
What are you doing?
No!
Sir, you're supposed to be in quarantine.
I'll show you, dog girl!
Whoa!
What are you doing?
No!
No.
No!
I'm kung fu not being said!
Not now!
We'll be right back.