I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster.
I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster.
I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster, I'm the Master Trickster.
Oh, hello, Principal DeRosa.
Say hello to Principal DeRosa, class.
Hello, Principal DeRosa.
Okay, don't get too excited.
I'd like to introduce Shirley Tasker, who's been transferred here from Moose Hoof High.
Say hello to Shirley, class.
Hello, Shirley.
Jeez.
Despite the class's lack of enthusiasm, I'm sure Shirley here will be made to feel at home in no time, and not to be the subject of any stupid welcoming rituals.
Yeah.
Not so fast.
As you all know, my passion is the creation of ceramic vases, and I'd like to announce that my collection is on display in the main hall for the next week starting today.
How nice of Principal DeRosa to bring in his prized ceramic collection.
Say thank you, class.
Thank you, class.
Dude.
Hi, I'm Andy Larkin.
The world's greatest prankster.
Oh, yeah?
Well, how would you like to become the world's greatest emergency room?
I'm sure you'll be very impatient.
We should have warned you, Shirley.
Andy here fancies himself as a bit of a joker, but he's harmless, really.
All right.
But if he pulls something like that again, the joke will be on him.
Because he'll be dead.
Mm.
Sassy.
You mean, mm, crazy.
Andy Larkin, how could you do that to an unsuspecting newbie?
You're nothing but an insensitive jerk.
Oh, you make me so mad.
I could just...
Ah!
Don't be fooled.
She's crazy about me, really.
Wipe that stupid grin off your face, Larkin.
That girl only fell for such a dumb stunt because she's new around here.
Look, Craig, if you don't criticize my pranks, I promise I won't pull any more on you.
Deal?
Uh, okay.
Why, you!
Whoa!
I have to admit, it was pretty funny.
I haven't seen Andy look that dumbstruck since the school announced it outlawed April Fool's Day.
Ew, what's that horrible smell?
It's the school handyman.
Whoa, my eyes are watering.
How disgusting!
Does the handyman always smell like that?
I think we lost him.
Next time you send Bennett into a murderous frenzy, how about warning me first?
Oh, shh.
Shh, Laurie's out there with her friends.
She's probably telling them how sorry she is for yelling at me like that.
Listen.
It depends on what he's been up to, but I don't think he and the shower are on a first-name basis.
But smelling bad isn't his only problem.
He's a compulsive nose picker.
One of these days, his head'll cave in!
And have you smelt his breath?
Before he breathed on me, my hair was streaked.
And he's always scratching himself.
Sometimes I want to toss him a banana.
He sounds like a complete loser.
He is.
But he is handy.
Bye.
See ya.
Take it easy.
Ta-ta.
I can't believe Laurie said those things about me.
I don't pick my nose, scratch myself.
When there's anybody watching.
What?
I said, you're always, um, body washing.
And my breath does not smell.
Well?
Why would she say such a thing?
DeRosa's vases are a metaphor for my relationship with Laurie.
What started off with so much promise and expectation has ended up distorted and just plain ugly.
But no more.
I've been a dope for the last time.
It's time to turn the page.
It's amazing.
Now that Laurie's history, I feel so much better.
No more pounding heart, sweaty palms, and sick feeling when I think of her.
Yeah, okay, that sick feeling is coming back.
I gotta get away from these things.
So, what do you mean, it's over?
Read my lips.
It's over.
Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it.
Good morning, Andy.
Huh?
Wow, I'm impressed.
But I bet you a dollar you'll crack before the end of the day.
Hmm.
Uh, remember, class, your homework assignment on Casanova is due in a few days.
Uh-oh, I forgot all about that.
Why don't you come over to my place tonight and we'll work on it together?
Andy, I found this great website completely devoted to Casanova.
If you want the address, I could, you know, give it to you.
Eh.
What's with Andy?
How could you ask that?
First you lead him on, give him hope for the future, then you crush his dreams under
that cute little size four pump of yours.
You are a cold-blooded, unfeeling witch.
What was the name of that Casanova website?
Okay, catch you later.
Oh.
What's his name?
Andy.
I gotta got your job done, get that girl to work.
Yeah.
Hey.
What's his problem?
He must be upset about me yelling at him yesterday, but I don't know why.
I've yelled at him lots of times.
Uh, yeah, and he's deserved every yell.
Why bother with him?
He's nothing but a pain in the neck.
Neck!?
I was thinking a lot lower than that!
Listen to this.
Casanova wrote his memoirs.
He called it Histoire de ma vie.
I guess his ego is pretty big, too then?
No doubt.
It means, History of my life.
You know what that means.
Boring!
Maybe, but if the world's greatest lover can write his memoirs,
so can the world's greatest pranker.
Danny, you have the honor of documenting my exploits.
Grab that tape recorder.
This is the story of one of the world's...
Of the world's greatest pranker, Andy Larkin.
It all started in a modest two-story house
in a small Canadian town called East Gackle.
Cut to the chase, Michael Bohr.
Perhaps Andy Larkin can describe his pranking environment in his own words.
Mr. Larkin, you attend East Gackle School.
Can you tell us something about your classmates, um, say, Danny Pickett?
Danny Pickett is the wind beneath my sails,
the glue that adheres my concepts to my pranks.
Not.
Yeah, right.
Moving on, Peter Lick and Andrew Leach?
Idiots.
Laurie Mackney?
Ah, yes.
Wonderful, glorious, delightful Laurie Mackney.
Butt-grasp, nose-picking, bum-scratching loser!
So, Mr. Larkin, you still have feelings for Laurie Mackney?
Not at all.
And I believe that means you owe me a dollar.
Uh, how about the new girl?
Shirley Tasker.
Well, let me list her bad qualities.
She has a wicked temper and is bitter and angry.
Now, for her good qualities, I'm drawing a blank.
I think she's kind of cute.
Hey, whose memoirs are these anyway?
Hey, Andy.
I'm really jealous of you, Laurie.
I wish Andy would ignore me like that.
It's not funny.
I'm not into being given the brush off by Andy Larkin.
Although, his coolness...
...towards me is getting to be a little hot.
Let's face it.
Martin Bonwick is a bit of a nerd.
He's the one kid in class who actually pays attention to the lessons.
He's always glued to his seat, figuratively speaking.
But today, it's gonna be literally.
Jeez.
She nearly gave me a heart attack creeping up on me like that.
A little extra vinegar fizz in their soda.
I win, cause, you know, rock smashes scissors.
No. I win, cause my fist is gonna smash your head.
Guess who.
Hey, Larkin, you look thirsty.
Take a swig, or else...
Ah...
Delicious.
Ooh.
You all right?
Yeah.
Operation Surprise in 5, 4, 3...
Hi, Andy. I thought you might want some company.
Oops.
Hey! Out of the basketballs, basket case!
Uh, Dad? Can I ask you a question?
Okay, Andy. Ask me anything.
It's about girls.
Well, looky here.
There's a great documentary on CBC tonight
about their birds and their bees and...
Sad, isn't it?
No, Dad. I want to know why the more you ignore a girl,
the more she hangs around.
Sorry, Andy. I'm the wrong person to ask.
I've never ignored a girl.
I was afraid I'd never get another one.
What do you mean by that?
You only married me because no one else would have you?
Oh, I didn't quite mean it like that, dear.
Then how did you mean it?
Hmm.
I, uh...
Oh, look, dear.
Throat Songs of the North is on tonight.
Your favorite.
Hi, Prankmeister.
I heard about Lori.
Bad day at the office, eh?
Never mind that.
I've been checking out the Casanova site
and it says despite his swindling, conning, and two-timing girls,
they kept coming back for more.
Yeah, well, Casanova treated people kind of shabby,
but he was cool.
Aloof.
You can't blame the ladies for being fascinated.
Hey, that's it.
That's why Lori keeps hanging around me.
Because you treat her shabby.
No, because I'm being cool towards her.
I've never done it before and it's fascinating her.
But you are treating her shabby.
No, I'm just being aloof.
Do you believe it?
When I gushed over Lori, she wouldn't give me the time of day.
Now that I'm giving her the cold shoulder,
I have to beat her off with a stick.
Hey, I need to get this on tape for posterity.
Danny, tomorrow I want you to record everything that Lori does.
I don't know. It seems kind of...
Don't you still owe me a dollar?
Where's the camera?
I hope that Casanova site was a help, Andy.
So, are you planning on not talking to me forever, Andy?
Well, maybe not forever.
Oh, Andy. So, you still like me?
Not so fast.
I might throw a few words your way if...
You admit I'm a pranking genius.
Okay, Andy. You are a genius at pranking.
And you help me out with the odd prank now and then.
So long, babe.
Well, what do you have in mind?
Got her. Hook, line, and sinker.
Lori?
Lori, a second banana? I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.
You said yourself Andy is just a silly prankster,
and now you're going to help him prank?
I'm a big girl, Jervis. I can make my own decisions.
But Lori...
That Jervis is going to ruin everything.
I better cook his goose.
Can you say foie gras?
Okay, Lori.
This is your initiation into the wonderful world of pranking.
What?
Nothing.
Here's what I want you to do.
This afternoon, tell Jervis that you and me are history.
No, Andy.
Relax. It's a prank, remember?
Tell Jervis you finally come to your senses and realized he was right.
I'm just a si-si-silly...
A silly pranker?
Uh, thanks.
Ask Jervis to meet you in that shady corner of the school gym after class
for a date and to whisper romantic stuff in your ear.
Romantic stuff?
But why would you want me to date Jervis?
That's the prank.
You won't be showing up for the date.
I will.
I'm going to dress up in some of your clothes and make out I'm you.
And be sure to pull the plug on the prank before you really have to make out.
Jervis will know it's not me.
You underestimate my pranking prowess.
It's dark in that corner.
And I do a pretty good girl voice if I do say so myself.
Oh, Andy. I really think you're a pranking genius.
I'm getting a bit worried about him.
You just worry about catching Jervis on TV.
Making a complete fool of himself.
And me revealing my true identity.
Imagine Jervis whispering sweet nothings to Andy Larkin.
I don't know, Andy. It all seems a little tasteless.
All right, Andy. I'll do it.
Good. Now we shouldn't be seen together from here on in.
You have ditched me after all.
You leave first.
Okay.
Perfect. Two birds with one stone.
Come again?
Jervis gets pranked big time.
And when I tell him it was all Laurie's idea,
he'll never want to speak to her again.
Check, please.
No. Don't turn around.
I just want to hear your voice.
Say something...romantic.
Well, when I'm near you, I get a tingle.
I get a tingly feeling in my toes.
And?
My stomach goes all squishy.
Like after I eat tuna fish.
I like everything about you.
Which bits do you like the most?
Your earlobes.
They remind me of those small pasta shells.
What are they called?
Small shells.
What else?
Your nose.
It's like a cute little pierogi.
Oh, stop it, Jervis.
You're making me hungry.
What do you like about me, Laurie?
I like the fact that you're a complete idiot.
Consider yourself pranked, Jervis.
No.
Consider yourself pranked, Andy Larkin.
Huh?
I don't know how this cassette got into my bag,
and I don't care.
What's on it?
Does this ring a bell?
Laurie.
Let me list her bag qualities.
She has a wicked temper
and is bitter and angry towards me.
Now for her good qualities.
I'm drawing a blank.
But that's...
Danny, get down here.
It's obvious how you feel about me.
You've been using me all along
to pull off your idiotic prank.
But ha-ha.
I've out-pranked the prankmeister,
and I've got it all on video.
Check, please.
You!
Backstabber!
Hey!
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I couldn't let Laurie take over my coveted second banana position.
I had to get rid of her.
Editing that tape
and slipping it into her bag at the restaurant
sure did the trick.
But the video!
Relax.
I didn't record what just happened here.
Your pranking reputation is still intact.
But you gave Laurie...
The video of her following you around
like a lovesick puppy all day.
I don't see why Laurie's reputation should suffer either.
You!
No, you!
Hey, sweetie.
If you're looking for a jock,
you're in the right place.
Get lost, squirt!
Oh, yes.
I love jocks.
They're so, uh, strapping.
You got it, babe.
And strong, too.
Yes.
I can smell you from here.
What?
I said I can tell you no...
No fear.
You're quite something.
I love your dark, shiny hair.
What the...
Larkin!
Ah!
Whoa!
Ooh!
Ah!
Oh!
What the...
Larkin!
There you have it.
Punishment for annihilating
DeRosa's objet d'art.
Wow, Shirley.
You look fantastic.
Yeah.
Well, my friends decided I needed a makeover.
Not that it's any of your beeswax.
Still got that temper, though.
Shirley, tell Andy what you told me.
Oh, yeah.
The stuff that Laurie said.
Bad breath.
Nose-picking.
Smelly.
She wasn't talking about you.
She was talking about the janitor.
You're kidding!
Does it look like I'm kidding?
And I'm on my way right now to play the original cassette
and clear my mind.
Oh!
Don't be silly. Give me the sponge.
Help! Somebody help! I'm gonna be sick!
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