What's with Andy?
I'm the master trickster.
The master trickster.
What's with Andy?
I'm the prince of pranks.
The prince of pranks!
Well, everyone in town, from my folks to my buddies
know of my unquenchable thirst for pranks.
Besides Charminory, I've got one dream of glory
to get listed in the record books.
What's with Andy?
I'm the master trickster.
The master trickster.
What's with, what's with, what's with, what's with?
I'm the prince of pranks.
You know, it's harder than it looks
being East Gackle's most wanted bachelor.
Just you wait, lover boy!
I'm going to pluck every single hair
off your weaselly body!
Come on, Spank.
Make like a seal.
Andy, you know how gassy popcorn makes him.
Dad's a grown man, and if he wants to eat...
I'm talking about Spank, and you know it.
Oh, it's true.
It's only one.
That won't upset his stomach.
Whoo!
That's right.
So, gentlemen, dust off your suit jackets
and brush up on your tango,
because the contest reps are heading your way
to find out which Canadian town
boasts the most romantic fellas.
That'll be East Gackle, hands down.
The contest is being held in each town across the country
in conjunction with our sister radio stations,
with the winner receiving $500
to spend on a romantic evening with their sweetheart.
Oh, Al!
I'm going to help you win that contest.
You can't win if you don't enter.
Don't be silly. Of course you're entering.
And you're going to win that $500 prize.
Freda, I've got no time to waste on romance.
Besides, didn't I get you tickets
for that ice fishing competition next weekend?
Al, you're doing this like it or not.
When was the last time you told me that I looked nice
or that my perfume smelled good?
Your perfume smells great, honey.
I'm not wearing any perfume.
That's Spank!
I think I'll just take Spank outside now.
Come on, boy.
Well?
Fine, I'll do it.
Hey, did you hear about the love contest?
Huh?
Oh, my gosh, did you hear?
This contest is going to be so cool.
When Craig wins, I'm going to make him take me shopping
for a whole new wardrobe.
Obviously Sheldon's going to win,
and he's going to get me a package at a day spa, and then...
Uh, what did you say?
I said when Sheldon wins.
You can think again. Craig's going to win.
I've heard nothing but the love contest
from Mom and Jen since it was announced.
Craig, where are you?
Have you seen Craig?
Hey, you!
Have you seen Craig?
Isn't that Craig?
Freeze!
Why haven't you returned my calls?
I, uh, well...
Never mind.
You have a love contest to enter.
Oh, come on, baby.
You know I'm romantic, right?
Why do you need a stupid contest to tell you?
I don't need a stupid contest to tell me.
I need a $500 prize to tell me.
Hey, I'm totally into that.
Uh, what I mean is into making you happy, of course.
Good.
We'll meet at lunchtime to go over some strategies.
No prob.
With 500 bucks, I'll be able to really trick out my car.
Yeah, right.
That money is for you to spend on me on a romantic date.
Oh.
Ah, there's no fool like a fool in love.
And in the article, I'll discuss why romantic contests generate so much hype.
I'm in total agreement.
Romantic contests are much too hyped.
Then again, maybe a contest on romance is a great way for guys who might otherwise be shy
to show that romance isn't dead after all.
Hear, hear.
Romance is to love what a Pez dispenser is to candy.
It makes it more fun.
In fact, you know what?
I will enter that love contest and show East Gackle that I, Jervis Coltrane,
am the most romantic guy.
Guy in Canada.
The glue stick was very entertaining.
The younger kids have been calling Jervis sticky bum-bums all day.
Tell me what's wrong.
Well, Phyllis keeps talking about how romantic Ned is.
And Rhonda says that George has been cooking all the meals.
I think the lady wants you to enter the love contest, dude.
Me?
Enter that namby-pamby contest?
No way.
I was a peacekeeper for crying out loud.
You're entering and you're going to win that $500.
Oh.
I can finally get that new super-shine high-gloss floor waxer.
What?
What did I do now?
I miss the peacekeeping.
Well, the peace.
I'll send it away.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Hey, Jervis, that's really romantic.
Sticking your love's favorite things to your bum-bum.
Personally, I'd carry them in her knapsack.
And our first contest tip for all you romantics out there.
Women love men who give them flowers.
Flowers?
That's a waste of money.
I think it's a great idea.
And I know exactly where you can get me some really nice ones.
Ah.
Do you smell that, Danny?
Oh, no, I'm not falling for that again.
Especially not on egg salad sandwich day.
No, my olfactory-challenged friend.
It's not digested eggs.
It's the smell of love in the air.
Or in this case, pranks in the air.
Since everyone's so keen on joining the contest to show how romantic they are,
I'm gonna show them just how foolish fools in love really look.
Hi, I'm calling for Donnie Decker.
Tell him it's, uh, uh, Dr. Amour on the line.
From, uh, Montreal.
No, no, no.
No, that's my real name.
Listen, just put me through and I promise East Gekkel will win the love contest.
Thanks.
Merci.
Hi, Donnie.
I'm Dr. Amour, the romance specialist from Montreal.
I've just been asked by the contest organizers to help you give advice to the love contestants.
Dr. Amour?
Sorry, chum.
Never heard of you.
Besides, I've already got my list of advis...
I understand.
You aren't interested in meeting the national producers?
National producers?
Uh, uh, wait.
Uh, you know, uh, I'm always open to new ideas.
Give me what you got.
Great!
I'll call you every day at this time with some new advice.
Lori!
What's wrong with your voice?
Oh, nothing.
Oh, that's just a funny voice I do sometimes to bug my mom.
Uh, where are you off to?
Just to get a soda.
Uh, well, let me buy it for you.
Hi!
How was your day?
Shush!
Hmm.
Ow!
Hey, shush!
Shush!
Our next tip for all you love cats out there is be assertive.
Women love manly men who know how to keep their women in line.
Huh?
It sounds like they know what they're talking about.
Yeah.
I know.
But they know what they're talking about, right, Dad?
Assertive, eh?
Woman, get my supper ready now.
He said, be assertive, not be an idiot.
Okay.
Woman, I'm making supper right now, and that's final.
Ha!
Watching these lover boys make fools of themselves is going to be more fun than the annual beaver
tail-eating contest.
Agent you better hurry before all the baby foods gone
Yes, you're gonna have a pogo with a side order of onion rings a soda and cake for dessert, huh?
Are you crazy? I prefer stuff that won't clog my pores or turn me into a jiggly balloon
Besides you can't tell me what to eat, but I'm just doing what the radio guy said being assertive
You do want to win the contest don't you Jen? Hmm?
Oh
Yes, sir keeping my woman in line what nothing
I demand that you follow me to the library this minute
That's where I was going and you don't have to yell. I'm standing right next to you
Hey, maybe I do know something about
Romance after all Laurie could you settle an argument for us?
I keep telling Danny that your eyes are a beautiful blue, but he says they're a gentle green
May I who looks like you won in more ways than one, huh?
Library now quit being so pushy Jervis
Now Laurie take your book out and read what else am I gonna do? I'm in a library
Shush
Is everything okay
Fine fine, you know, sometimes you have to listen to your doctor
Doctor or more that is
We're not volunteering at the town library tonight like we normally do you we're going to the auto parts dealership to look for a spark plug
And that's that
Hmm, huh, I wonder where dr. Amour is gonna work his magic next
Laurie if it's all right with you, I'd like to walk you home sure
It's nice that you aren't trying to assert yourself like the other guys. Well, that would be foolish
Even though you can win $500. Yeah, it's just not for me
No
Hmm
, sorry, I gotta go but you were gonna walk me home
It's just that I promised the hospital that I'd call a sick kid right now. You call sick kids
Yeah, just hearing my voice makes them less sick. Bye
Dr. Amour thinks all these manly men are ready to show the ladies their sensitive sides, you know cry confess secrets the works
Sounds like my dad when he comes home really late
So mom for the newest tip from dr. Amour I certainly did I
Personally can't wait to see what Craig does with it. Dad. Did you hear todays tip? Come on. I know you were listening to the radio
You're right. I did hear the advice
Am I?
And I also heard you talking about your ordeal at the store today.
What you went through is an outrage.
Having to wait half an hour and then not get any toilet paper?
What's this world coming to?
Oh, the inhumanity of it all.
Ow! I never knew you had it in you.
That's so sweet.
Ugh, this is definitely going to haunt my dreams tonight.
But does Dr. Amour really know how to get guys to show their sensitive sides?
I mean, come on.
It'll take more than just some dude on the radio telling them to cry
to get most guys to turn on the waterworks.
Oh, ye of little faith.
Dr. Amour knows exactly what he's doing.
I can't believe I got a B-.
This is going to seriously affect my cheerleading school application.
Craig, you're supposed to cry.
This is really sad.
Oh, uh...
What?
Wuh.
Hi, Moe.
I suggest you show him how it's done.
What?
You heard me.
Bring on the waterworks.
Jervis, your grade one diary is your business.
I don't want to hear it.
And as the teacher led me to the bathroom,
everyone could see that my pants were wet and started to laugh.
Oh, why me?
Hey, congrats, Jervis.
You went from wee-wee pants to sticky bum-bums
in less than a year.
Honeychop, I thought you would like one for cleaning the classrooms.
Get that thing away from me, please.
I'm terrified of feather-dusters.
But they're only feathers.
Oh, you don't know what feathers can do when you're tied up in the jungle.
Oh, never mind.
Dr. Amour said to be sensitive, but now you probably don't see me as sensitive.
Oh, never mind.
Dr. Amour said to be sensitive, but now you probably don't see me as sensitive.
Oh, never mind.
Dr. Amour said to be sensitive.
But now you probably don't see me as sensitive.
Oh, now that puts me in a very braceful place.
You fly like an ac попадation.
Even with fly fly and regularame,ibo.
About what did I buy you?
Oh, right!
You don't see me as the hunk of burning love you thought I was.
Ew.
Oh, silence!
So who's the man?
Dr. Amour.
Man, you can't possibly make them look more foolish than they already do.
Or do you already have something in mind?
Good, now bark like you mean it.
What are you waiting for?
Go!
I get it now.
Now should I hear amour or amour now?
No, stick a finger in his throat and I'll cut it off now.
Go!
Dr. Amour is going to show these guys just how foolish they can look.
Okay.
But, um, enough with the touchy-feely stuff.
Now, before I give you the last love tip,
I want to know that you'll have lots of news coverage for this event.
Don't worry.
I get coverage when I take out the trash.
Great.
Well, then, let's get down to business.
To really impress the women of your town,
men should get in touch with their feminine side.
You know, wear women's clothing, wax their legs.
Is this a joke? I don't think...
You don't trust me?
I'm the love doctor here, not you.
No, no, it's just...
It's a little extreme, don't you think?
Nothing is too extreme for fools in love...
I mean, men in love.
Good luck tomorrow.
I don't know about this one.
I seriously don't think anyone
will be dumb enough to fall for this bit of advice.
They're already blubbering and confessing their darkest secrets.
This will be icing on the cake.
Oh, watch it!
Oh, stop being so sensitive.
But I thought you liked that.
Actually, after listening to you whining,
I think I prefer the strong, silent type.
No!
This is my male role model?
Huh?
Like lambs to the slaughter.
What's that, Shakespeare?
Craig, is that you?
Come on up, we're waiting!
I wonder what the big surprise is.
Here's a really wild guess.
It probably has something to do with the contest.
Oh.
I didn't get the last love tip.
Did you?
Nah, man, I haven't the slightest.
I've never seen that movie he mentioned.
What was it? Boopsy?
Boopsy? Sure, I've seen it.
It's a real drag of a movie.
Uh-uh, no way.
Huh? Get that away from me!
Is there a problem?
There is no way I'm waxing my legs and chest for any contest.
I'm an athlete, for crying out loud!
Lots of athletes wax their bodies.
Swimmers.
Cyclists.
Jugglers.
I'm out of here.
Uh, Sheldon, aren't you forgetting about a little something?
Like the $500?
Besides, I thought you guys were man enough to withstand a little pain.
Of course, I'm man enough.
Bring it on!
Woo!
Suck it up, you big baby, and act like a man!
I think it's time I got myself ready for the big event.
And Lori.
Huh?
Move it! Move it!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Are you laughing at me?
Will you quit it already?
You've used up two boxes of tissue today alone!
I gotta hand it to you.
No one here looks at all romantic,
although some are looking disturbingly lovely.
Hey Jervis! Don't get your skirt wet.
You're just jealous that you aren't man enough to show everyone how romantic you are.
Oh, really? I think it's obvious that Laurie isn't interested in your crazy shenanigans.
She prefers my quiet, dignified presence.
Oh, Laurie, my love.
Oh, and...
Hey, isn't that Donnie Decker?
Hello, and welcome to East Gacko's Town Hall,
where all of our men are set to show the rest of the country just who rules in romance.
Stand by for Montreal.
Stand by for Saskatoon.
Stand by for East Gacko.
What the...
You gotta be kidding. What's with East Gacko?
What do you mean, what's with East Gacko?
It's all because of that crazy advice your Dr. Amour's been giving us.
Dr. Amour? Who's Dr. Amour?
And turn around. Your back doesn't make for good TV.
And now it's time to find out just how romantic
East Gacko is.
And how romantic those men really are.
How about we start with you?
Well, my bunny bear loves to cry and takes an interest in what I eat.
Ah, yes.
And how about you, ma'am?
My man knows what he wants and how to get it.
Huh?
At least as long as no feather dusters are in sight.
I'm afraid to ask, but how's your man when it comes to love?
My love is true.
Tell us about him.
He walks me home, or at least down the hall.
He listens to me and he does the funniest voice.
Huh?
Do it, honey.
Uh...
You know, that funny voice the other day.
Oh, you mean this one? Thank you very much.
That voice. Wait a minute. You're Dr. Amour!
Honestly, Andy, I was really falling for you.
But you had to fool all these men into dressing like women.
Oh!
Huh?
Lori, I can explain! Tomorrow!
See? Fools in love will do anything.
Even me.
Wait till I finish waxing you, Larkin!
You'll be singing like a girl!
I don't know who I'll do as beautiful as you, gee, but you'll know how good I listened,
Larkin, Henrys.
Are you sure?
That's OK.
You know how much you should like him, right?
You're veryчик demais.
We'll be right back.