Captioned by Cotter Captioning Services.
I know what you're thinking. I must be crazy, right? Relax. If it wasn't for this harness,
I wouldn't be doing this. I'm a prankster, not an idiot.
I should tell you how I got here. It was two weeks ago.
Please, Mom. I don't want to go to school.
Wait a minute. It's Saturday. Oh, no. It's Saturday.
The one day that's come to mean terror in the Larkin house.
It's worse than Meatloaf Tuesday. Worse even than Parcheesi Thursday.
Come on, sleepyhead. It's Child Saturday. We're going to play miniature golf.
Danny, I need your help.
Mom, if Terry calls, tell her I'm on my way.
Parent-child Saturday.
Jen also has to spend the day doing boring stuff with Mom, which means that at least she suffers as much as I do.
Remember, Jen, the plastic old dinnerware party begins at 2 o'clock.
Maybe Jen should start her own collection for when she gets married.
You're right. Remind me to phone Daddy.
And here's my son, Leslie, and tell her that we'll be staying a couple of hours longer.
Dear, you put my favorite Bermuda shorts in the bag of clothes for goodwill. Again.
Are you sure it's wise to wear shorts on a day like today, Dad?
What're you talking about? It's gorgeous out.
A snowstorm? In June?
Yeah. Freaky weather, eh? I guess we'll have to reschedu...
Hey, it's stopped! Come on, time's a-wasting.
I'm a rebel, baby, can't hold me down.
Gotta hit the road, gotta look down.
I'm a radish, maybe, can't hold me brown.
Got you in the roll, gotta get down.
Come on, kiddo, let loose.
I wish I could, but you've locked the doors.
That's funny, Andy. You're a real chip off the old block.
I'm a radish, maybe, can't hold me brown.
Got you in the roll.
Gotta get down.
Hey, there's this new place, International House of Liver and Onions.
We can try it out later.
They prefer the four food groups.
Fried, broiled, malted and carbonated.
You know, beans and burger.
That's strange.
Where could it have gone?
Well, that's too bad.
Guess we'll have to cut the game short.
We might, if I hadn't come prepared.
Hmm.
Ha.
Hmm.
Ha.
They really do your great job.
Good night, Andy.
Keep up the good work, chez Laurel, William forward.
Stop mopeing, everybody.
Trust in natuurlijk.
I'm not kidding.
Stop it all.
I still can.
More work to come, let's get to work.
Ready to go?
Yeah, me too.
Playing nice.
Time to use my computer to study.
Uh.
Wet our whistles at the clubhouse?
Yeah, Dad. You go. We'll be fine.
You wouldn't be trying to get rid of me, would you, son?
What, me? No!
Well, see you later, then.
So, how about a game?
Some other time. I've got a temporary reprieve and there's a burger with my name on it.
So I'll just tell your dad you left for a chicken burger, then.
Ah, thanks for the burger, Andy.
Don't mention it. You did save me from a fate worse than root canal surgery, after all.
Excuse me. Can I borrow the salt?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here? Where's Mom?
Where's Dad?
Or are we kidding? We abandoned our own parents.
I prefer to call it a temporary break from the dullest sport on Earth.
Hi, Frank. Give me two burgers.
It's a surprise for my son. He thinks we're going out for liver.
And there's even a chipmunk living in the windmill.
At least you're getting fresh air.
The woman hosting the party has plastic covers on all of her furniture.
Rita, guess who I just saw at Beans and Burgers.
That's right. Both of them.
Oh, no. I think we're raiding way beyond square at this stage.
That's a good idea.
I mean, if they expect tacky...
Who are we to disappoint them?
Morning, you two. Gorgeous Saturday, isn't it?
Is it Saturday again already? Why, I hadn't noticed.
Your father and I have something extra special planned for today.
We thought we'd all do something together, instead of the usual boy-boy-girl-girl thing.
Don't worry, you two.
This time we asked someone your age...
...what would be the best place for a teenager to spend an afternoon.
So, um, Dad, what is that mysterious place?
Well, it wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you outright now, would it?
But I can say that it's inside a large space with seats...
And there are lots of people cheering.
And it's a good, wholesome sport.
And I may be giving too much away here, but it involves trying on footwear.
Cool!
Okay, open your eyes.
Surprise!
We thought we'd sign up with the curling league.
Oh, look, honey.
Oh, look, honey. They're speechless.
Uh, Dad?
Didn't you say you consulted with a teenager about this first?
Sure did.
What kind of freak thinks curling is the best way to spend a Saturday afternoon?
It's the Larkin family! How you doing?
Too slow!
You got me there!
Too slow!
You got me there!
Say, how about you and your son join us?
We could use a couple of extra sweepers.
Don't mind if we do.
For some reason, our teammates stood us up.
Dad, you can't be serious.
I can't play curling with you.
I don't even know how.
Oh, no, son. Not with us. Against us.
Parents versus children.
And don't worry, Maurice can teach you the game.
He's a real pro.
Why am I not surprised?
I'll never forget the look on Jen's face
when she slid into that wall.
Yeah, and Andy's when he took out that stone with his head.
That'll teach them to ditch us.
So, that's their game.
Hey there.
I think my stone needs a good polish.
Rough game, huh?
If by rough you mean humiliating and degrading, then yes.
Ow!
Careful there, Jacques Villeneuve.
Hmm.
Oh, hey, kid, wait up.
Want to make ten bucks?
What are you grinning about?
We're getting our butts kicked by Mom and Dad.
Well, I think our luck is about to change.
I know that look.
You're cooking up one of your stupid pranks, aren't you?
What's this?
You're actually considering cheating against our own parents?
Hello? Earth to Jen?
Wake up and smell the humiliation.
They're doing this on purpose to get back at us
for ditching them last week.
As far as I'm concerned, this is war,
and everything is fair game.
I don't think you realize what you're about to do.
I don't think you realize that Mom just set you up
on a date with Maurice.
Okay, I'm in.
Let's get them good.
Come on, honey.
You can do it.
And if you don't, winning isn't everything.
You still played a pretty good game.
For a beginner.
Hm.
Hmm.
Whoa!
Ha ha ha ha!
Huh?
Yes!
In your faces, Mom and Dad!
Oh?
That's one heck of a shot.
You might finally be picking it up, honey.
Must be beginner's luck.
It's not like we're gonna beat you guys or anything.
I mean, what are the odds of that happening?
Oh.
happening I'd like to thank my parents without whom none of this would have
been possible on account of how they totally sucked and lost I gracefully
accept defeat I have to admit I'm surprised to see how well you two took
to the game the pleasure is all ours I'm sure your mother and I have a confession
to make we intended to play a trick on you we know you think our Saturdays
together are an incredible bore now we didn't really think that it's just that
they lacked a certain excitement shall we say well I'm glad you had fun today
because we signed us up for the East Gakko League tournament and this time
we'll all be on the same team
tournament you mean as in every weekend Saturdays and Sundays starting tomorrow
but I can barely stand up on the ice the way you play today honey you could go up
against the pros you've got a unique touch with the stone that seems to make
it glide around obstacles as if by magic hey sweetie how's this for a team name
the Rolling Stones
on the bright side they don't suspect a thing listen you've got me in deep
trouble you have to confess I can't just tell them we won by cheating we'll lose
all of our leverage someone who cares because I can't be seen playing curling I
don't have your immunity to public humiliation
okay this is it
I'll confess quickly so as not to cause them too much pain parents are so
fragile
try this on Andre that's all I could find on such short notice
we barely got the logo made in time dead mum I meant to talk to you about this
curling thing I was thinking that it really isn't fair of us to hog all your
weekends and make you take us curling don't make sure you miss us don't forget to subscribe for more videos like this one last day.
Don't be silly, son. I'm glad we finally found something that we can all enjoy together as a family.
Right, but if we didn't really...
I mean...
What I want to say is, I'm really glad we can spend time together, too.
See? Painless.
You didn't confess, did you?
Relax. It's just one game. We'll lose, we'll be eliminated forever. End of story.
I've been thinking.
I wondered what that noise was.
It would be just like you to try and win to keep me in smelly shoes and polyester forever.
So I've taken out a little insurance, just in case.
What are you talking about?
Just a little something I found under your mattress.
You know, you really should find a better place for your dirty little secrets.
You don't mean...
That's right. A cosmic teddy bear's comic.
What do you think the jocks at school would do if someone were to announce that you read them?
This comic book.
That's not a comic book. It's a collectible item.
I'm sure you can explain the finer points to them right after they laugh you out of town.
Or you can make it all go away by being sure to throw the game today.
Remember, if I go down, you're going down with me.
Oh!
That's my rose.
The other team's best player.
Score!
That's no good.
My shot would have been out.
So much for your plan.
We're winning.
Oh!
I can't help it. No matter how much we mess up, they suck even worse. We're winning by default.
There's one way to make sure we lose.
I don't know. If Mom and Dad find out, they'll be crushed. They're doing this for us.
Then make sure they don't find out.
Listen, every minute I spend here, I run the risk of running into someone from school.
Just do what it takes, or else...
There you are. I was wondering where you went.
I was right in the middle of my spore collection story.
You'd think you could take a hint.
Listen, the sci-fi club is having a get-together next Friday.
I'd really like it if you came with me.
Bringing a date would really impress the guys.
Maurice, I might go out with you.
If you were the last man on Earth and I needed a tire changed.
Is that a yes? What time should I pick you up?
Hmm.
Not too shabby, dear.
What's this? What are you up to?
Oh, shoot. You caught me. I was cheating.
What are you doing? Why did you let him see you, you idiot?
So you're in on this, too?
Listen, it's not what you think. We're actually trying to lose.
You can't...
You can't, Snitch. Our parents would be devastated.
I should turn you in and have you disqualified.
I fully agree. You have to do what you have to do.
No! Listen, I'll...
I'll go out with you to your sci-fi geek fest. Just don't tell.
When you put it like that.
And then Jen can give all her friends an exclusive story
on the private love life of a sci-fi nerd.
So that's your little game. No deal.
Excuse me. I think there's something I should tell all of you.
The hallowed halls of curling have been desecrated by foul play.
Why aren't you doing anything?
Let the guy speak.
I have here the evidence that someone whom we welcome into our midst
has been abusing our trust and resorted to cheating to win the tournament.
What?
Do this. I'll even get dates for your friends.
Heck, I'll bring the entire gymnastics team.
When I move these controls,
the identity of the cheater will be revealed by their very own trickery.
Hey, Maurice. Isn't that your stone?
You think that's funny, Mr. Comedian?
You like humiliating your very own...
Your parents in public with your little cries for attention?
Ow!
And I thought all those trophies were won fair and square.
That's not what happened.
Wait!
I don't get it. How did he...
You asked me to take care of the situation, and I took care of it.
Check, please.
I'm sorry things took a turn for the worse, kids.
I didn't want to win by forfeit.
Maybe if I talk to the judges, they'll let us reclassify.
Actually, Dad, I think the experience...
has kind of spoiled it for us.
We're really bad at this parent-child Saturdays altogether.
We just don't seem to have much in common.
Wait. Maybe all we need is a little compromise.
I'm getting dizzy!
I can't move!
I broke my leg.
I broke my nail.
I'm going back down.
Come on, you two. You can't quit now.
You know the deal.
Andy and I decide every other Saturday what we're doing,
and today's our turn.
But this is insane.
I'd rather be skydiving or something.
That's next week. My pick.
What? You don't get to pick two Saturdays in a row.
You owe us, remember?
We played curling twice last weekend.
Life is sweet.
Ha ha!
Melody!
Shit!
Thanks, Dad.
Blah, blah, blah.
Ah!
La, la, la.
Fox Kids, Fox Kids, Fox Kids, Fox Kids, Fox Kids.