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You are my joy, my sunshine
I am so glad that you were born
Because it all started with Jen and Terry playing with that silly Ouija board.
I hope that dweeby Andy isn't going to ruin the sleepover.
I'm still trying to get the grass stains out of my favorite PJs from the last time.
Relax. Andy's up in his room reading some stupid book on Houdini.
Let's start.
Oh.
Oh, great Ouija board.
Who's my best friend in the whole wide world?
C, I, N, D, Y?
Cindy?
I thought I was your best friend.
You are. I don't even know anyone called Cindy.
Let's try another one.
Who has the most beautiful dark hair at East Gackle High?
Cindy?
I don't understand it. Who's Cindy?
Yeah, right. One last try.
Who does Craig Bennett like more? Me or Jen?
Jen?
Well, he did smile at me in the hallway yesterday.
Wait, it's still going.
Jen?
Not?
I knew he liked me, Ben.
He actually winked at me this morning. This board is obviously broken
Houdini was amazing he could squeeze in anywhere
Sorry Jen that acne cream won't work on your skin
You need a welding torch and sandpaper and you need a lobotomy who dweenie
Hardy har har anyway
What are you gonna do for the variety show auditions? I was thinking of doing a dance number. I
Don't know. I'm good at so many things
our horoscopes
horoscopes
You're going to die
Your hair Oh cram it mister septic
Don't tell me you two actually believe in all that hogwash
We're deep and spiritual you're shallow and self-centered. That's why we believe and you don't
Good one Terry
Besides the heavens never lie. Yeah, they're too busy laughing
My horoscope says the answer is yes
That means Craig will go to the dance with me wrong. The question is am I ugly and stupid?
oh
I stand corrected the question must have been am I going to be stung painfully and repeatedly by a wasp today I
Can't believe how gullible Jen and Terry are they won't even put on their socks without finding out if it's in the stars
speaking of gullible
Hey Laurie, I've got a great story for the school newspaper
Local kid becomes prime minister. Oh, yeah
Your prime minister
Not yet, but a fortune teller read my TV's and told me I had a bright future in politics
Come on, I'll give you an interview right now
Stupid Jervis, I can't believe how many people are sucked in by this baloney
But it does give me an idea for an out-of-this-world prank because I am the world's
Greatest prankster, right partner
And
That is why the school paper needs to hire me to write a horoscope column
Attached is a list of my accomplishments
I said that you worked as Nostradamus is Greek Greek Greek Greek Greek grandson's assistant, you know getting the doughnuts paying the bills
Excellent. I predict that I'll be hired
and
Should you hire me as your new astrologer? I would need to remain anonymous since my gift is also a curse
All correspondence should be sent and received via email at anonymous astrologer dot CA Wow
Houdini's Butler he or she is hired
But I guess they already knew that
Yes, let the psychic prank start
Begin
Way to go Terry you'll knock them dead at the audition
Talk about looking like a flailing chicken on hockey skates
So when does the anonymous astrologer get to work? Ah first my little wizard assistant?
We have to gather their astrological signs
Coach is ordering new athletic underwear. So he'll need your date of birth so he can order the right size. Oh sure
It's August 29th. Whoa, that was a big day in history
Thanks
Oh
How are they gonna know what size I am from my birth date
Wow Andy never have I seen anyone or anything able to see so clearly into the future
Hi guys, what's that? Oh this?
It's the lucky cue ball. It is very prophetic
It comes from the only pool hall in Tibet. Yeah, where all the monks hang out
They say only deeply spiritual people can ask it a question. Oh, can I try can I try please?
Well, no, why not just ask a question then shake it for the answer. Will I be Prime Minister of Canada one day?
There's no answer. Oh, I forgot to mention that you have to sing your name birthday and favorite song three times in a row and then ask the question
It's very particular
Jervis June 3rd snowbird Jervis June 3rd snowbird
Jervis June 3rd snowbird
Will I be Prime Minister of Canada one day? Whoa, I would have never believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes later
Wait, I didn't see it
Hey
Hey dip what oh
Hey lickin leech. What's up? Can the you know small talk mark in what's in that their locker?
My locker
Please don't make me open it
Alright
Oh
Hey, you having a you know party well, we were going to have a surprise party but now it's ruined
Surprise, it was a surprise birthday party for you. Lick. Hey, it isn't my birthday. That's on
February 8th. Did I say lick my mistake? I meant leech
But it's not you know my birthday until
August
First well, don't worry
We'll save all this stuff until then.
Cool! Thanks!
And I always thought those two were a lab experiment gone wrong.
Pisces, your lucky number today is two.
Your unlucky number is also two.
Brilliant, oh cryptic one.
Hey!
Spank, what's wrong, boy?
Oh, he looks scared.
He probably saw Jen without makeup on.
It's worse than Jen with no makeup.
It's Jen with no vocal ability.
Sorry, boy, that's animal cruelty.
Or at least it sounds like it.
Talking of cruelty, I'm up to Aries with the horoscopes.
Well done, my star-gazing sidekick.
This is gonna be great.
Every kid at school will be hanging on my every word.
Oh, why, Xandy?
What should we do?
Make kids give us their lunch money?
Or dunk their heads in the toilet?
First, dunk their heads in the toilet.
Then the money will fall out of their pockets.
Wow!
That's, you know, so deep.
Naturally.
Okay, let's continue.
Aries, you like what you see, and you see what you like.
Ooh, vague, man.
Taurus, those slacks do nothing for you.
Stick to jeans.
But I like slacks.
Gemini.
Ah, yes, Gemini.
Money will fall from the sky.
Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Boo!
Hey, Jervis, with the five cents from each can,
you'll make a pretty penny.
Looks like the anonymous astrologer was right.
Hey, have you two read your horoscopes?
You should.
This anonymous astrologer is really something.
Hey, check it out.
Leo, you will be more like, you know, popular than ever.
What does Aquarius say?
Uh, Aquarius, you will be more like, you know, popular than ever.
Whoa!
That's so weird.
It's like, you know, scary.
Ah, that stuff is baloney.
Everybody knows we're popular.
Hi there.
See?
Come on.
Let's go beat on someone small.
Mm.
Scrab!
Get out of it, you mutts!
What do they want?
Quit, like, you know, following us.
You hear?
He-he-he.
Hey!
Run!
Ah!
Looks like you two are more popular than ever.
Ah!
Yeah, with dogs.
You don't think stuffing their backpacks with dog treats
had anything to do with it, do you?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Where are Lick and Leech off to in such a hurry?
Dogs are always on the move.
Say, have you read the new horoscope column yet?
Not yet.
See what Scorpio says?
How did you know I was a Scorpio?
Uh, well, I heard you mention something about it
while you were on the other side of the schoolyard
a couple of years ago.
Scorpio, love is right in front of you.
It really is.
Isn't that what all horoscopes say?
Well, it is right.
Have you figured out what you're gonna do for the audition yet?
No, I haven't a clue.
Maybe my horoscope will tell me.
Cancer, your recipe for love?
Meatballs?
What's that supposed to mean?
Maybe he's one of those cryptic psychics like we saw on TV.
Hey, Craig.
Huh?
Ooh!
Oh, I'm really sorry.
Are you okay, Jen?
Mmm, tastes good.
See ya.
The anonymous astrologer is brilliant.
My recipe for love was meatballs.
If he can predict my love life,
then knowing what I should do for my audition will be a breeze.
I'll send an email to the paper and ask him.
Woo-hoo!
So, in your wise ways, please let me know
what I should do for the school's variety show audition.
Sincerely, Jen, nervous in ninth grade.
Ooh, the possibilities.
So, Jen wants me, I mean, the anonymous astrologer,
to tell her what to do, eh?
Well, it's got to be embarrassing.
Humiliating, but above all...
Spectacularly embarrassing and humiliating.
Aah!
Hey!
Aah!
Huh?
Ooh.
I got it!
It's something that the ultra-talented, super-popular,
over-achieving Jen Larkin can't do
and doesn't want anyone to know she can't do.
Is there such a thing?
Yes. Sing.
And for the ultimate impact,
we're going to need a huge audience for Jen's singing debut.
And industrial-strength earplugs.
What's the matter, Jen? You look worried.
I got a reply from the anonymous astrologer.
Listen, dear nervous in ninth grade,
sing from your heart and your talent will be heard.
If you go for it, you will be famous.
What's wrong with that?
I'm not sure singing is my best asset.
Well, you obviously haven't read your horoscope today.
Having second thoughts? Just go for it.
Does it really say that?
All right, I'll do it.
Hey, Lori.
Read any good horoscopes lately?
Yeah, and I think I'm finally going to act on it.
Oh, really?
Excuse me.
What did you write for her horoscope again?
You will fall head over heels for someone with the initials ALAL.
Andy Larkin.
Or Alan Lehman.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
So, I was wondering...
if you'd like, you know...
to go out sometime?
What happened?
I don't want to talk about it.
That anonymous astrologer is full of hilly.
Well, I don't know about that.
My horoscope's dead on.
You will go out with someone with the initials LM
and she will think you're handsome and fascinating.
So?
L...M?
Lori McNee.
Andy's the anonymous astrologer.
I should have known.
I don't know about this, Andy.
Look, the costume store was closed
and this is the best I could come up with.
But the oven mitts?
Okay, lose the oven mitts.
Okay, Jen's audition is about to begin.
Let's get everyone into the gym.
Go.
Look, everybody.
It's the anonymous astrologer.
Yeah!
And he's headed for the gym
to hand out glimpses of the future.
Well, why acne clear up?
Will I pass my exams?
How many meters in a mile?
Will I get my lunch money back?
So, oh, mystical and all-knowing anonymous astrologer,
how do you foresee this prank turning out?
What?
You've been writing a bunch of lies
and made me make a fool of myself in front of Alan.
I don't know what you mean.
You know exactly what I mean
and you have to come clean to everyone.
What? Okay, I'm coming.
Coming.
Oh, we're not finished yet.
Jen, what will you be doing for your audition?
I'm going to sing a song I wrote.
All right, any time you're ready.
You are my joy, my sunshine.
I am so glad that you were born.
You are my light, my reason
to wake up smiling every morn.
music
Boom!
Lori, listen, I...
No, you listen, Andy Larkin.
I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for my rant just now.
I have to admit you've been fantastic
as the anonymous astrologer.
You really do have a gift.
I do have a certain flair for it.
Yeah, who else could get the whole school
to fall for those bogus horoscopes?
Book, line, and sinker.
Run, take that!
I foresee a bleak and painful future
for you, Nostradummy.
Come and get me.
Oh, I don't have to.
I can wait here for as long as it takes.
Meanwhile, why don't I serenade you?
No!
You are my joy!
My sunshine!
I am so glad that you were born!
You are my light!
My reason!
To wake up smiling every morning!
I don't see any record contracts in her future.
You are my joy!
My sunshine!
I am so glad that you were born!
You are my joy!
Fox kids.